Managing Expectations; March 26 2025

I kind of detest every process that leaves me with hope. Managing my expectations hurts – I constantly remind myself that things could go either way, that keeping myself ready to hear any answer is the best way to brace.

But hey, hoping is what got me this far. I’ve had so many things turn out either ‘bad’ or ‘just okay’ when the potential was great, but I’m here. I feel kind of like the protagonist of a sports’ movie – I’m the boxer who gets the shit kicked out of him but keeps getting back up, even when he’s clearly lost. It ain’t over until I’m dead.

Or until I’m out of debt. One of those two. It’d be nice if it was the latter first.

But for now, I have to keep waiting. Keep seeing the bright side in every rejection my books get while I’m on submission. They’ve all been lovely, at least! Overwhelmingly positive. Just…

Not a yes.

While I wait, I’ve been revisiting older works I’ve written and missing them. Some of them still have a lot of potential but I don’t know what they need. I don’t know what I need. A new project? An old project, with fresh eyes? Time away from writing?

(I don’t think I’m capable of that last one.)

Hoo boy. I really did go into this blog post thinking I’d find positivity along the way, but I think I’m too tired.

Good luck, everybody. Wish me luck too.